


you whispered my name

by 2space_lesbo1



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, My sister wanted me to write this, Vaderkin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 02:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13354758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2space_lesbo1/pseuds/2space_lesbo1
Summary: and i heard youDuring his fight with Ahsoka Tano, he begins to question... everything.





	you whispered my name

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this is something my sister wanted me to write. I like writing stories for her, she comes up with good ideas.
> 
> Anyway, she wanted something- anything- to do with the relationship(or what remains of it) between Ahsoka and Vader. She said she wanted to cry, and so, I hope I delivered for ya'll because I know I delivered for her. Now, yes, this is an open ending. You can believe what you would like about what happens after the ending but I'm not writing more ;) I can assure you, this is a one-shot.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy ;)

It’s a rush: the wind buffeting the exposed area of his face where she had struck him, his rhythmic breathing faltering and his red lightsaber crashing down on hers. She had been growing tired, he could feel it through the remnants of their bond. The bond that he had never been able to fully destroy, clinging to it like a lifeline to a time he should far be over by now. And yet, here he is now, hesitating in his deadly strikes as her blocking becomes weaker and weaker, letting his and her own lightsabers draw closer and closer to herself. And now, this would be the perfect time to strike. To slit her throat and be through with this futile fight.   
And yet, just as his lightsaber nearly makes contact, he moves the strike, just missing her neck, instead slicing her shoulder. She lets out a cry and staggers, lifting one hand to cover the charred shoulder with three fingers, lightsaber humming softly as he lowers his own. His breathing catches at the scent of burning flesh; of Ahsoka’s burning flesh. He reels for a moment, the memory of the cursed Anakin Skywalker flooding his mind’s eye:   
Ahsoka standing before him, natural light shining against her multicolored skin as she flashes a grin up to him. He was suitless at the time, able to breathe and move on his own without the accursed machine in his chest. He’s laying a hand on her shoulder, the only mechanical limb he has at the time.   
“I would never let anyone hurt you, Ahsoka,” he promised with finality, lightly squeezing. She looks up to him with such admiration and love in her eyes it would drown him now after having no one love him in years. At the time, it was a familiar look she’d give him, the love she had for her master.   
He snaps back to reality with an unsteady step backwards, his body physically weak already from both the long fight and the fact his suit is partially damaged. Now he's being consumed with emotions that should no longer be his own. But, that’s not completely true, is it? He shakes his head angrily, growling softly. This old apprentice is becoming a nuisance; she is making him question himself too much. He is Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith. Former Jedi Knight Anakin- no, he was never Anakin. He is himself, borne from the mistakes but not of the past of this dead Jedi.   
He can feel her gaze on him, can feel her hesitantly standing from the way she had been forced to lay on the ground. One of her new, white lightsabers is no longer activated. The other hangs at her side, humming lowly. Yet, even with her strong aura stating she is still able to fight if need be, he can sense her overwhelming pain and exhaustion. In truth, she would not be able to fight any longer. Then again, neither could he. But he could finish her off quickly and return for repairs. He could be through with this whole ordeal.   
He lifts his gaze from the spot on the ground that it had ended at, squinting his exposed eye as the strong gusts of air nearly blinds him. Ahsoka is not far off and they are standing nearly exactly as they had been at the beginning of the fight. Though now both are breathing heavily, Ahsoka’s deep breaths still silent while his are rasping and squeaking loudly, his suit obviously damaged. They meet gazes once more and he nearly falls to his knees with the memories of his- no, Anakin’s past, he is Darth Vader- past flooding him even more so. That determined expression, those blue, familiar eyes meeting his with no hesitance.   
She had never been one to flee or hesitate from him, no matter his mood. She had almost always been there for him, standing her ground even as he grew impatient with whatever was going on.   
She had always been there for him.   
Until she wasn’t.   
Yet, here she is now, trying her best to be there for him, even as her entire body aches. He could tell that she was beyond exhausted, and, with the wounds she had acquired during battle, he knew she needed immediate medical attention. Or she could very well die.   
His heart- or what is left of it- aches. Aches to be her master again- no, he was never her master, Anakin wa- aches to be at her side again, to fight with her, to make snide remarks at one another, to place his hand on her shoulder, tell her how proud he is of her.   
But, all of that should be in his- Anakin’s- past, shouldn’t it?   
He can’t even tell anymore.   
“We need to leave soon, Anakin,” Ahsoka is saying, breaking through his wall of thoughts and emotions, breaking through her still stern and familiar voice. For many years during the Clone Wars, he had considered her voice, her presence, to be the calm among many storms. During many battles and raging emotions her voice and calming presence beside him could almost always pull him from his thoughts and ground him. “This Temple will not stand much longer.”   
He doesn’t know how to answer her: belittling her for calling him by that name, acknowledging what she said, or completely ignoring her. He misses the times when he- not him, Skywalker- could simply throw an arm around her shoulders and banter with her. Yet he knows those times are long gone, no matter how much he misses-  
No, he could not miss them. He is Darth Vader Lord of the Sith…. of course he is. Of course he is.   
“I… I can see that,” he ends up saying, glancing around what remains of the old, Sith Temple. He knows that they- he- would need to be retreating from this place soon or it would collapse on both of them and seal them in a grave. He knows that he could most likely escape this place for the most part unscathed, but he is unsure of his- Anakin’s- former apprentice. Her legs, almost entire body, are shaking and her pain- which she tries her best to conceal- is overwhelming in the Force.   
She most likely would not be able to escape this place alone.   
But, maybe, with help, she could.   
But he shouldn’t help her.   
But he yearns to.   
“Are we going to continue fighting, or try to escape?” She then said, drawing him back to reality as she always does. He blinks slowly and looks back to the ground, fighting with himself. Help her or not? It should be so simple a decision. He should simply kill her and be done with it. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to.   
“Why do you not just flee?” He inquired, curious as to what her intentions are. He also doesn’t want her to leave again, like she had done so long ago. But he would never admit to that.   
Ahsoka is silent for a few seconds, her lips pressing together as her eyes shine with emotion. “I already told you,” she said softly, and a small smile turns her lips upwards, “I’m not leaving you again. You’re stuck with me, Skyguy.”   
And it must have been that utterly ridiculous, repulsive nickname that made him snap.   
Not snap as in running into a full blown rampage. Oh no, quite the opposite. It made him snap back to reality, it made him snap back to who he is.   
He’s not Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.   
He’s Anakin Skywalker.   
At least, for now.   
Ahsoka must have seen the shift in his eyes or the snap in his presence because her smile broadens and she basically falls to the ground; would have hit it, too, if it weren’t for Anakin- yes, that fits so much better- catching her. He hardly keeps himself from falling as well, keeping the Force closer to himself than he normally does to keep himself up. She is heavier than he remembers, though that could be the combined weight of his durasteel arms that are becoming even worse of a pain now than usual. She is breathing heavily and his breath catches as he brings her closer, falling to his metal knees. Too much metal. Too much metal everywhere on him and he wants it all gone-  
“A- Anakin,” Ahsoka said, her voice strained and quiet yet still enough to draw him from his thoughts. He focuses on her completely, shifting his arms so he can hold her better. His chest and throat are aching, but he knows she is in even worse pain. He has dealt with this sort of pain for years. She has not. She lifts a shaking hand towards him, her fingers landing delicately on the area of his face still showing through his broken mask. Her touch is featherlight and he can hardly feel it on his scarred skin. He lightly places his own hand on top of hers, having missed her so much. “It… it really is you,” She shakily smiles, “I knew it.”   
He can feel her becoming fainter in the Force, her also stronger. He panics, knowing what that would mean.   
“No no nooo,” he said quickly, shifting her so he could hold her even closer. Not her as well. First his mother, then Padmé… he can’t lose Ahsoka as well. Not after he’s just gotten her back, not after she’s helped him see the Light again. He doesn’t know if he’d ever be able to return if he were to lose her now. “You are alright. You will be alright…”  
Ahsoka’s ever strong and determined eyes gloss over with tears. “I am now,” she said in all but a whisper.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope ya'll enjoyed! And, if you did, please, leave a comment and/or kudos! inspires me to continue writing ^^


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